A Very Family Guy Holiday!
by Jack Russel
Summary: Santa has been kidnapped and only our favorite family can save them Now but can they? Or will Holiday be runined forever!
1. Chapter 1

Family Guy

Authores notes: Warning this story is very funny and crasy so if you die lauthing while reading please don't sue me :)

It was the knight before Critamss and all of the family guy family were rapping presents. "I simpley lvoe critmass, Louis!" Peter Giffit said with exitment. "I am a so so exicted that father santa is goin to vist to knight" Peter Griffin said again "Peter Santa dosnt real and he not coming here too day" said Brain Griffin. "That is a not true Brain Santa always cums!" Petter Griifin said setting down da law.

"Santa Will come and it will aswome like that time I met Captain Jack Russel" Peter Griffin Sayed.

**Flashback**

"Your Captain Jack Russel!11?" Petter Griffin asked in awe "Yes I am Captain Jack Russel" Captain Jack Russel said to Peter Griffin. "The Captain Jack Russel?" Peter Giffin asked again, "Yes I am the Captain Jack Russel" Captain Jack Russel. "OMY GOD" Peter Giffin said. *Awakagard silance* "So what have you bean doing" Peter Griffin asked Captain Jack Russel "I have bean killing evil aliens and having sex with hot sexy beuatifull women" Captain Jack Russel said back. "Wow I wish I cold do that you are so lcukly!"

**End of Slashback**

"He's such dreamboat" said Petter Friffin Wishing he could be like Captain Jack Russel. "Well Peter" Loius began but slow as she didn't not know how to tell Peter that Santa had bean offended by the family guy family and woudnt be coming. But just than Meg Griffin came in da room "Dad I whant a poney for critmass" Meg said "shut up MEG" Peter Griffit said "Now I have to go to tolit" Petter Giffin said and ran up stairs. When Peter Giffin gut to the top of the stairs and got in the tolit. He found that the tolet had been replaced by a tolit monstar "you will not go to tolit Griffin it" said.

So Peter Giffin craped his pants as he couldnt go and eveybody luagthed cause it was the funny. So he changed and went down stairs just in time to hear the news. Eveybody was crowded round the telly apart from Stewie Griffin who was playing with hisa laisr gun. "Soon I rule the world" Stewie Griffin said to self and shot a whole in the wall with his laiser gun. "Thats enough toys for one day" said Lousi Griffin and too it away "dam you woman" said Stewi Griffin.

Than the news came on "News just in Cristmas has bean Caniciled" said the news guy and Peter Griffin was literally having heart failure. Eveybody was upset expet for Brain and Stewie Griffin but Brain Griffin new that he had to help as Peter Giffin was his beast freind. "I don't care about this celibration for you lesser pepole" said Stewie Griffin "Ha you right monkey I no you do" said Brain Griffin "no I sore of chritmess as it was becoming addictrive".

"Santa has been kidnaped by a group of evil terrorists called the anti critamss aliance. They are evil Australian Terrorists who want to ban chritmass as it doent snow is Austlia", "We have do do something Lousis" Said Peter Griffin. "I do not care about Critmass anymore" said Stewie, "As Chritmass is canciled will we be having the polls of the year instead and the gayest pesron in history is Stewie Griffin" said newsreader Tom Tucker.

"Ok I agree whe have to stop them I am not gay" said Stewie Griffin, "Oh Yes you are" said everbody in the world, "Oh no Im not" Stewie Griffin said gain "Oh yes you are" said all the pepole in the world. "The votes have been counted and eveybody voted that Stewie griffin is gay. 100%" said the vote counter "apart from mr idoit and he was linched and hung for that" the vote counter said again and evybody laughted cause it was funny.

"I will go but only if get me that poney" said Meg "Oh all right whatever" sadi Peter Griffin, "I there for you pal but I have to get my bone first" said Brain Griffin as he is a dog. "I will to cause I like chritmass a lot" said Chirs Griffin "Lets do this" said anybody.

They all got in the car and drove to the last place were Santa was reported to have bean and they did. However the road was full of angery men protesting about the calnerlation of crismess. "Why is chrissmess cancled" a man yelled, "I want my presents" yelled a little boy, "I was going to gut a new gun!" said a gunwoman.

Petter Griffin started hooting the his cars horn "Get out the way" he yelled "Peter calm down" said Louis Griffin to clam down Peter. "he's telling us to get out the way" yelled a rioter "let's kill them!" yelled a another roiter. Then they went charge at the family guy family to killer them. They were carrying toches and guns and pitforks.

"Dirve drive drive" yelled peter as he drove off. They gut away "That was a relif it was almost like that time I got my foot cught in a time machine" said Peter Giffin

**Flashback**

Peter Giffin was walking along a road when a time machine that looked like a sports car and a fighter jet aprared. A guy walked out and Peter Giffin walked up to it "whgat is this" he wondered aloud. Petter Griffin than treid to open the door but he couldn't then the guy came back and got in. The time machine went to the meddievil times, the stone age, the iorn age, the tool age, the dinnosore age, the futre age, the western age and the beggining of the universe. Then the Time Machine came back and Peter Giffin flew out "ow my mind what happened.!" Petter Giffin asked

**End of Flashback!**

So the Family Guy family drove to a new location and the ran into the police who were there. "Stop we are investigating Santa disprance and kidnapping" the polceman said. "We are hear to help Santa get free" said Louis Griffin "Well we'll help a bit Santa was last seen in the old caastle" the policeman said. "Thank you" said Petter Giffin. "Peter Giffin you are overdue on your TV lisance" said the policeman "get tem" pliceman said again. So the family guy family drove off and Officer Dunce drove after them . But the policecar weels fell of and the car cught fire and everybody luthed because it was funny.

They got to the castle and got to the entrance of the castle, they went inside and loked around. They went in and loked around they found a clue but than were atacked by nights in gold suits. The family guy family ran but lockly they grabed the clue before. he note say that Santa was being brought to a seacrate location in Grimcity

Petter Giffin and the Family guy Family gut to Grimcity but the way there Petter Giffin stoped to go t the toilet. But when they got there the tolits were full and they were out of oder as they had been over used. They were also had been used in a summo wressling tormimatent so were realy cloged and were next to surrage work.

"This worse than time I was in a Zombie City" said Brain Griifin

**Flash Bark**

Brain Griifin was driving his car with his new girlfreind. They were driving while kissing "Oh yes you are so good" said girlfreind "Oh yes give to me" sasid Brain Griffin. They were to buzy kissing and didnt notice the signs that said "Danger dont not go to this city because it is danger of ZOMBES!11".

They kept driving and kssing then loked around then saw Zombies! "Whe have to get out of hear" said Brain Giffin "let start the car" said girlfrewind. They reid to start car but it dint start. "What are we going to do" ask girlfreind panicing.

**End Of Flashbark**

"That's quite a story Brain how did you get out?" asked Meg, "Well I was russced by woman and her girlfreind" Brain Griffin said, "Shut Meg" said Peter Giffrin and everybody luthed. Out loud.

Peter Giffin still needed the toilet hough and the toilets were still engaged. Just than a bomb went of in the toilets that was planted by the evil Australian terrorists and all the poo crap wee, diareiha and snot shot into the air and formed a cloud that spread other the fields.

And the sheep turned brown and the rivers turned brown and the lakes and cows and horses turned brown. The cloud was spreading all everywhere turing everything shity. It went to a town and turned the white wall that had just bean painted white brown. All the buildings turned brown and the grean lawns and white fences.

Then there was an anocment on the news the Australian terrorists were going to excute Santa live on TV on Crissmass day. "We have to save him" said Peter Griffin "I'm with you pal" said Brain Griffin "and so Iam I" Chris Griffin, "Me too" said Meg "Lets do it Peter" said Louis Griffin and kissed Peter Griffin.

To Be Countued


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Family guy family drove towards Grimcity and got there. "That was easy almost as easy as easy flakes" said Peter Griffin.

**Flasback**

Peter Giffin was puring his ceral and than saw that it already bean pored. "Wow these realy are easy" said Peter Giffin.

**End of Flashback**

They loked around Grimcity and looked hard. They didn't sea any clues of where the evil guys were. Peter Grifin loked in the lieberry but couldn't find ayone and than was thrown out for being to stupid to go the lieberry and everybudy luthed caused it was funny.

Meg loked in the sports centre and beauty fitness area and didnt find anything and was thrown out for being too ugly. Brain looked in the posh restraunt but was thrown out because no slogs were allowed. Lousis and Stewie look in shoping centure but it was closed as chriomas was cancled so there were thrown out.

They all met up in the centure of the town "eems we are all looking in the wrong places" said brain and they all agreed look in dirffent places. "This almost as hard as dark souls" said Peter Grffin

**FlashBack**

Peter Griffin is killing and fighting zombies in a night suite. Then he dyes and comes back to live and get kills again. Than Petter Giffin finally makes it to the demon boss on the bridged. The demon was to hard for him to fight "why are you so mean" said Petter Giffrin "because this games is to hard and the designers are evil! Also Im a demon!" and the demon kill Peter Griffin Again! "This game is to hard" said Peter Giffin and throw game out the window.

**End of Flash Back**

Brain looked in the lieberry and evan had a philsopican discoian with the old bookeeper about the meening of live, Louis looked in the fitness and beauty area and she was very popular. Peter loked in the posh resturnt and even put on posh accent. Meg sneaked into the mall as she was used to sneaking around them. Stewie used his scanner to look around but got destructed by a toy dog.

They all met up again "We hant still found anything!" said Brain Griffian, "there must be there somwere" asked Losis, "I need lunch" cryed Peter Giffin. Then they saw officer Dunce again hew was on a horse "Stop you are under a rest!" Officer Dunce shouted with law. Officer Dunce went charge at the, but than the horeses legs fall of and it caught fire "Oh well just great" the horse said as he new how long legs took to grow back. The Family Guy Family escaped and mad it to the restruant area to eat.

So they went to lunch at the Australian luch bar. They were having cangeroo burgers and wallabies burgers. There was a man playing a didgegrydoo. There was hunter talking about his survile stories in the outbacks.

"Wow you must me so brave" said Louis Griffin, "I bet he killed loads of evil men and evil anymales" said Chirs Giffin. "Thats right do you want to sea some of me trothies" the hunter said "cool" said Chris Griffin. Meanwhile Brain Griffin was playing space shooter 4000 and was doing realy well and got a high score, Game Over the machine said. Stewie Griffin was say " I think I can beet your high score!". So Stewie Griffin had a go but didn't do as well "Gay Over" the machine said "I'm not GAY" Stewie Griffin yeeled.

"Here Davie what is that gay child crying about" said an Austrian waitor to another Australian waitor named Davie "I think he is bad at gaming" said Davie and Stewie stormed out while eveybody luthed unitl they cryed. Then they Peter Griffin saw somone it was Samus from Metroid prime and they talked to her about stuff. Anrt yo worried about crismess being cancled" Peter asked "No we dont celibrate crissmess on my planet" Samus said.

Than the Family Guy Family finsihed eating and left to go outside. They were going to look for more clues "geese theis is more complicated than cluedo, tretus and mastermind combined" said Peter Griffin with worry.

**Flashback**

"Now Peter you have geus the killer while aliging falling blocks and answrering questions about tv if you win you get a holiday but if you losse your duagter Meg gets droped in green gue. Are you redy?" the presenter sayed "I sure I am" said Peter Griffin. So Petter Griffin did good but than didnt try very hard as iot was boring place that was being offfered but still one anyway.

"I will not gooed now" said Meg but the presnter guy presed the wrong butter my mistake and Meg whent in "oh no" said Meg and everybody luthed real hard cuase it was very funny.

**End of Flashback :)**

"Then Meg had to spened the hoilday covered in the green stuff" said Peter Griffin and eveyboded luthed more.

But just than Petter Griffin was attacked by the Chicken Man who thinked Peter Griffin's story was boring. They had a huge fight off with buildings blowing up, dinnosores attacking, ships sinking, builindgs falling, cars blowing up and in, nuclear misslis flying, plains blowing up, and spaceships coming down. It was almost as epic as the best supermen movie man of steel!

The fight ended in a draw and Petter Griffin won. Then the family guy family looked for more clues. Then Peter Found something it was a note of chrismess names list. "Santa must bee her somwere" said Brain Griffin.

"He is but you wont bee" said an group of Australian terroists with guns and crow bars, "get them" said Davie and the y went run a the Family Guy Family and than sliped on a banna peel and landed in the trash bin. They where fooled cause there are no Bannas in Austria!

Brain sundently rleised somthing "they must be working in the restrunat" Brain Grifin said alowed. So the Family Gu Family went to rescuse the Santa who was being held hostage. They kicked down the door of the retruant and sated investigating. "we are going to save Santa this will almost be as cool as that time I beet Dark Souls" Petter Griffin said aloud.

**Flashback**

Peter Griffin was walking in to the final boss area and got to the last boss "I fight this final battle" said Peter Griffin with mighty brave and shot a kill spell at the final boss. The final Boss dyed and Peter Griffin said finally. Than he got an ending "is that it? This game sucks I going to go play Cod" said Peter Giffin.

**End of Flashbak**

The Family Guy Family were just going into the citcen place to stop the evil when they were stoped by the hunter gut "gday wats all this about" asked the hunter guy "the peole who run this place are secretly evil" said Peter Griffin "we have to stop them" said Brain Griffin. "Well we kant have this" said the Hunter and they raided the ctichen.

"We are goin to kill on live telly prime time and than cut you in to burgers" said the head Australian terror guy, "he's gut a lot of meet on him" said the henchman. So the Family Guy Family cuaged thought the doored and fort epice batlte. They fort with macties, knifves, boms, fire and guns. They fort until they beet the evil guys and one.

"That was almost as epic as the epic fart I did once" said Peter Griffin.

**FlashBack**

Peter Griffin was in the pool and than farted and the water turned brown and evybody in the pool dyed. "Oppsy daiy" said Peter Griffin and evybod luthed cause it was funny.

**End of Flashback**

They than saved Santa and his crismes evles from catpiveity "thank you Family guy Family you are forgvien for being bad this year and will get presents" said Santa. The Familyu Guy Family were happy and they new they had to do one moar thing to make evrything all right and good. They had reverse the damge done by the toilet coulwd.

They had to think about this hard but than Brain Griffin had idea "I know " Brain Grifan said "we blow up a cemical cleaing palnet as that would cealn it all off!" he said. So they put bombed in a lceaing cmeical factory and made it go boom.

All the cemicals cleaned the cites and towns of the wolrd expeted for looservile town were pepole are loosser and have bad tases come from like pepole who hate mah fan fiction.

They saved the world and saved Satan from captiviy. They were the gretest "this almost as alsome as the end of star wars said Petter Grfifn and evrboy agreed. But than Officer Dunce saw them and chacesd them "stop stop" he say, "theyre incient shouted" a man than Offiicer Dunce legs fell of and he cuagt fire, "opisey daisy" Officer Dunce said. "That man is a moron" said the Horse from eailerier now with new legs and anybody luthed.

"Hey you and me could go on a lot of adventures let's go" said the Huntsman and the Australian huntsman and the horse went of to new adevntures and everybody waved them goodbye.

The Family Guy Family got home and had all the presnet from Santa who they had saved and the beast crismes evers!111.

Brain Griffin got a book, Louis Griffin got a magic mirowave, Stewie Griffin got a toy monky, Chris Griffin got Grand Theft Auto Five, Peter Griffin got the next Star wars. "But wat about my poney?" asked Meg "hear it is" Peter Griffin said and pointed to a poney from Grand Theft Auto outside "Oh no you didnt" Meg said and everybody luthed as it was halriously funny. Brain Griffin look at the Camrea "OH BOY!" he say

The Ends

Happy Critmess to all :) PS Sorry this was updated Boxing Day cause was being a pain :(


End file.
